Groundhog Apartment—No longer available for lease

                

                We no longer want the “apartment”—the crawl space beneath our sunroom—to be available to groundhogs.

                “I don’t care if they live under the old stump in the back,” said my husband, “but I don’t want them under the house. They’ll ruin the foundation.”

                So, last month, after we had trapped and released a young groundhog, my husband made a platform of long planks with which he covered the foot-wide plot of earth on the side of the house.  I thought the hosta would push it up as it grew, but I was wrong. It’s just growing between the slats and no groundhog could dig through that.

                The wall under the sunroom on the south side of the house is interrupted by a short staircase and ends at the chimney. So there is only about a yard before the stair and half a yard on the other side where a groundhog could dig.  But dig they did. So we blocked those holes with bricks.

                But we didn’t count on the determination of these creatures.

                Two days ago we discovered fresh dirt on the walkway and a new, smallish hole tunneling right under the stairs. I set the trap and, yesterday, found a very wet groundhog sitting dejectedly in it. We read him his rights and convinced him to relocate.

                But before we could block up the hole—it’s still raining—on saw a groundhog—I’m certain it’s a different one—race across the back of the house and down the hole.

                Ah ha! I know where you are, I thought. So I set the trap again.

                And now there is another young groundhog sitting dejectedly in it.

                We will cement this hole. I do believe in affordable housing but the apartment under our sunroom is not available for squatters.